So I'm sitting here at work, and my phone buzzes, "Message for you, sir!" (Yeah, it's from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, when the guy gets shot in the chest with the arrow.) I pick it up. It's from this girl. A girl that's, sure, my friend, but it's not like I see her (or that I want to see her) as anything else. She's nice, but I'm just not into her like that. I like girls a little more . . . erudite? . . . than that. But so it says, "I'm free!" I answer, "From what?" "...
People are loud. They persist in yelling, talking at the top of their lungs, and shouting into screens and at each other. And on stupid cell phones. Sometimes I just want to throw my cellphone in the garbage disposal and enjoy watching it get eaten by the spinning metal blades. -- Doctor Who for the win. Especially the new Series Two. David Tennant is my favorite Doctor ever. Hard to believe that anyone would ever take Tom Baker's place as the coolest Doc ever. But hey – the (gee...
What's with all these crappy drivers? Here I am, driving for my job, and you have to be all slow. Come on, guys, I'm on a schedule – if you're not passing, get out of the “passing lane”. That's what the stupid left lane is, people – for passing. Shut up and move. -- All work and no play makes Jack an asshole. -- Green Carnation is the exact band I needed right now. It's great metal, and it rocks plenty hard. But it's not as morose, melancholic, and solitary as the doom metal...
e·piph·a·ny [i-pif-uh-nee] –noun, plural -nies. 1. a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day. 2. an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity. 3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. 4. a literary work or section of a work presenting, u...
Confuscious (how the hell do you spell that name anyway?) say: You show your true face to the people who really matter. Or so my fortune cookie at lunch declared to me. I began to think to myself, I show my true face to the people who really matter? Who do show my true face to? No one. So I guess no one matters. Pessimistic. Yeah, I know. (Which is a new shade for me. Usually I'm lucky Mr. Optimism, but lately . . . I blame the science. Or the dodecahedron.) But I ...
Hi. I'm a saint. Specifically, the Saint of Women's Underwear. But I'm also Sausage Man. I'm a saint, and I hate "people". Persons I love, persons I adore, persons I can deal with and relate to. People, however, I hate. People suck. The group mindhive is more a bane than a boon, no matter how many people jump on the bandwagon. I'm all for the strategic bombing of the bandwagon. I love my country but I hate the stupid things that are done or defended in the name of ...
I SAY WE SHOULD GIVE AMNESTY TO ALL ILLEGAL ALIENS. Oh, you meant illegal immigrants . I thought you were talking about extra-terrestrials. Because, man, technically - they're illegal. It's not like they petitioned for the opportunity to visit the planet from the World Government. (Oh, yeah. That fight's already going on in another thread. I don't feel like getting involved. Remember - my favorite solution to solve mankind's problems is to just kill us all and let the cockroaches t...
YES TODAY IS THE DAY, PEOPLE. SEND A MESSAGE TO YOUR INTESTINES - WE'LL HAVE NO GAS TODAY! NO BEANS! NO CABBAGE! TAKE YOUR BEANO! WE'RE SENDING A MESSAGE TO GLOBAL WARMING COMPANIES AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE! THIS WAS COMPLETELY MOTIVATED BY MY LOVE FOR THE EARTH, NOT BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT 10,000 STOCKS IN THE BEANO CORPORATION! ---------------------------------------------------- This was for all of you who actually bel...
I've been playing around on last.fm, seeing what fun stuffs they have. They have a lot. These are some of the artists I listen to on a regular basis. These are the tracks I've recently listened to. Was this article spam? Yes. Do I care? No. Very no.
This seriously has me thinking. I can usually figure out magic tricks with almost no effort whatsoever. I can't figure this stupid thing out at all.
When I was a kid, I was loaned a guitar by my grandmother. It was a nasty old nylon-six-string, with a slightly curved neck and it wouldn't keep its tune great, and it buzzed something awful on the sixth string. Her name was Bertha. I loved that guitar - yeah, it was a piece of crap, but it was just what I needed as a younger and mid-teenager. I wrote music all the time, both lyrics and melodies, and it was just what I needed. It was a necessary release from the strain of classical p...
I'm sitting here in my teller station at work and I'm having the strangest feeling I've ever had I think that I'm having a PANIC ATTACK because even though we're not busy and actually things are quite calm I feel like there's something wrong inside of me and that I'm going to EXPLODE or HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN and I think that I'm losing my mind and that scares the ever loving dogmeat out of me and I don't know how to make it go away and I can't tell my coworkers something's wrong and I can'...
What is the allure of the “big” check? Why do they always have the facsimile check when someone wins a big prize for something? It just reminds me of Happy Gilmore, how he would keep them all in his car's back seat and then took them all to the bank at once to cash them in, tucked under one arm. They're silly looking and cliché. Metal isn't supposed to soothe. Why does Katatonia's music, then, soothe me so much? Strange how a restrained, painful voice can make what would otherwise be ...
I don't know how many of you use the U-Scan at your local grocery store; in theory, this should be an excellent addition to any supermarket. But I hate the damn things. Don't get me wrong - the theory, as I stated, is nice. You go with your couple-three items, scan them quickly, insert money here, pick up change there, and your on your bloomin' way. But how often does it happen like that? You get to the machine. The first thing it asks you is to scan your "Fresh Values", "Pref...
I woke up in a weird, cold sweat this morning a little after one AM. Feverishly, I grabbed a notebook and wrote down my thoughts as fast as I could, bringing clarity, thought, and serenity. It's not a poem; it's just kind of a free write filled with questions I have. So here's what came out in a cold sweat, one-fifteen AM, and a head full of nightmares. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adulthood. How do we define it? ...