or; just work already, stupid thing.
I don't know how many of you use the U-Scan at your local grocery store; in theory, this should be an excellent addition to any supermarket.
But I hate the damn things.
Don't get me wrong - the theory, as I stated, is nice. You go with your couple-three items, scan them quickly, insert money here, pick up change there, and your on your bloomin' way. But how often does it happen like that?
You get to the machine. The first thing it asks you is to scan your "Fresh Values", "Preferred Shopper", "I'm a crazy stalking corporation who monitors your every single purchase (Bua ha ha)" card. This should be painless; but of course, they seem to put the least sensitive scanners possible in those U-Scan things. (I know, I've worked at a place with really unresponsive scanners, but they were better than a U-Scan any day of the week.) So you sit there for half a minute, poking your little keychain card in every direction and permutation possible, until it finally accepts it.
And NOW you're ready to actually scan stuff.
Of course, the items with UPC symbols result just as difficult (if not more so) than your stupid card. So you spend half an hour trying to scan your first can of beef gravy. And then, once accepted, it says in a loud, annoying woman's voice, "Please place the item into the bag." And of course you do so. But it sits there, stares at you, and continues to repeat, "Please place the item into the bag." You stare at it for a moment. "I just put it into the bag, toerag of a computer . . ." yet its obstinance continues unabated. Finally, you grab the can of gravy out of your bag and thrust it forcefully back in, making a satisfying clang as the metal of the can comes in contact with the bottom of the bagging thing.
Finally, you're on to item 2. And you've only got fifteen more. Then, of course it's even more fun when you're trying to purchase veggies or fruits or something non-UPC'ed. You get to navigate the befuddled menus, looking for your bloodred pears, only to find them on the page with the artichokes and avocados. What the heck?!?
Paying is also an adventure, because they put the credit card machine in such a location as being almost impossible to get a card into. But you finally get it scanned, on your way, and it took you forever.
But what's the alternative? Usually I don't have the "Santy Claus is watching you" card on me, so I have to go to the real person checker. And of course, these places seem to be horribly understaffed these days. (Because you're supposed to be U-Scanning, you see . . .) So you stand in line for half an hour, give the smarmy checker your phone number, and you're on your way, faster than the U-Scan. But the wait. Oh the wait to finally be helped by the one checker with an open lane in the entire store. And of course, she's the checker on the cigarettes aisle, so you wait in the long, long lines.
But that's better than the U-Scan any day. I pay the price I pay at the grocery store so there are employees there to help me. When there's not (as in the case of U-Scan), I want a discount.
Give me five percent off. I'm doing your employees job, after all . . . I'm scanning, paying, bagging, and going out to my car all on my own. Give me some of my money back, dammit.
Or I'll wait in line forever and make your one employee check me out.