Ooh..not bad, not bad at all. In fact, I'd say it's rather kickass.

Seriously, good work...no idea what the hell is going on, but it sounds good. Heh, heh. Actually where the words seem odd or perhaps confusing, the tone rings through, which is a good element of poetry.

Un poema bueno.

~Zoo

I've recently been reading some old Slaine comics and this poem puts me in mind of them (Slaine is a fantasy comic much in the same mold as Conan the Barbarian). Don't know why, but it does.

As Zoo said, you carry the tone well throughout the poem. I like it...

Seriously, good work...no idea what the hell is going on

True!

Weird, but to me that's a good thing...   

Zoo:

Actually where the words seem odd or perhaps confusing, the tone rings through, which is a good element of poetry.

I appreciate you saying it . . . I was hoping that, with the rhythm inherent in this, it would turn into a killer song. Didn't happen. Yet.

Shovel:

Weird, but to me that's a good thing...

I know what you mean . . . sometimes, the weirder the better!

This tells a story in itself somehow. I can't wait to read it!

I was hoping that, with the rhythm inherent in this, it would turn into a killer song.

It's got song potential...I'm thinking something slow...moderato would be a good speed...maybe andante if you want to make it deeper and more soulful. Also, keeping it under forte would probably be good...just seems like a slower, quiet song...but that's just me.



Of course the notes, keys, and chords are all variable, but I'm sure you can figure something out.
  


~Zoo

Serenity:

This tells a story in itself somehow.

That was the goal . . . thanks!

Zoo:

It's got song potential...I'm thinking something slow...moderato would be a good speed...maybe andante if you want to make it deeper and more soulful. Also, keeping it under forte would probably be good...just seems like a slower, quiet song...but that's just me.

It certainly does have a lot of potential, but I'm having trouble finding the right melody for those haunting words to ring out. Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next, until i can get something put together.

In a nod to their Tea Party bosses, Republicans within the House insisted on reading the U.S. Constitution text aloud to start the 112th Congress. As with all of political theater, the GOP-led sideshow was combined with controversy and melodrama. The United States Constitution text was cherry picked by Republican leaders and an audience member used the situation to disrespect the president. Looks like somebody may be needing payday cash loans to buy their way out of trouble.