Amnesty, Illegal aliens, and coffee.

or; nah, I won't say it.

Published on June 4, 2007 By SanChonino In Misc

I SAY WE SHOULD GIVE AMNESTY TO ALL ILLEGAL ALIENS.

Oh, you meant illegal immigrants. I thought you were talking about extra-terrestrials. Because, man, technically - they're illegal. It's not like they petitioned for the opportunity to visit the planet from the World Government. (Oh, yeah. That fight's already going on in another thread. I don't feel like getting involved. Remember - my favorite solution to solve mankind's problems is to just kill us all and let the cockroaches take over already.)

But anyway, back to the topic at hand - illegal aliens. Now, those of you who are "in the know" would already be prescient about the fact that there is, at this moment, a spaceship in orbit over the country of Qatar. (Okay . . . so BlueDev is the only one who knows anything about that. But he's "in the know", so you're all jealous.)

This spaceship is the personal envoy of Ziltoid the Omniscient, he who can bend time and space, he who rides the timewaves like the surf on a Hawaiian beach, he of the fifth dimension.

What? You didn't know? You must have missed his transmission.

So, now you know. Ziltoid is here. He needs our coffee to power his mind-bending powers.

So give it to him already.

All hail Ziltoid!

(Okay. What's really happening? Devin Townsend, one of the most versatile and prolific musicians ever (I mean, three completely separate and distict albums last year - and only releasing one this year, claiming to be taking a "break") has been working on a strange concept album, Ziltoid the Omniscient, for the last few months. And it comes out tomorrow. This guy has done everything on the entire album himself - vocals, guitars, bass, keyboards, and even the drum programming with Meshuggah's "Drumkit from Hell". I mean, come on - how can you lose with a metal album about an alien come to earth for our coffee, fought off by valiant humans? It's brilliant. I can't wait for it to come out tomorrow . . .)

Comments

SanChonino

on Jun 04, 2007

For those who are familiar with MySpace, here's Ziltoid's take on the whole thing.

foreverserenity

on Jun 04, 2007

Hysterical!

! That's one ugly buggy-eyed alien!

amandapearl2

on Jun 04, 2007

So I think you and I need to put our heads together and come up with a REALLY GOOD article topic I can write about so a lot of people will comment on it so we can go back to being twins....I miss you!

dynamaso

on Jun 07, 2007

Funny, twisted, crazy-arse... Is Devin the Frank Zappa of the metal world?

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