Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
or; the Bible itself teaches us as much.
Published on December 31, 2007 By SanChonino In Religion
Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition;
2Thess. 2:3


This is one of the best-known verses in the Bible to support the idea of the coming of the Antichrist, set to come shortly before the second coming of the big guy himself. Much speculation has been made by alarmists as to who this man may be (with people asserting that it may be Prince Chucky of Wales or Georgie Porgie Puddin'n'Bush), but this morning the heavens opened, the huge, crowned head of god came forth from the clouds (it was very Monty Python), and he pronounced to me who the Antichrist was.

The conversation went something like this:



ME: Holy crap! Who are you?

GOD: It's me, stupid. God. The big guy. Your real boss.

ME (Channeling Bill Cosby): . . . Riiiight.

GOD: As if I haven't heard that joke a million times. Very funny, son. Not.

ME: Sorry, dad.

GOD: Should be, punk kid. Anyway, the reason I came here today was to --

ME (Interrupting): Tell me to seek the Holy Grail? It's a myth, or maybe it's a hot woman like Audrey Toutou in that movie.

GOD: Seriously, boy, you're cruisin' for a lightning bolt to the head. What's that metal rod coming out of your head there?

ME: Sorry, man. I'll stop bugging you. Shoot.

GOD: At any rate, I'm just here to tell you that the Antichrist has made himself known, and I wanted to warn you.

ME: Ooh, who? I feel so lucky to be privileged to receive such info. Lemme guess – Britney Spears.

GOD: Close, but no cigar. It's . . . Bum Bum Bum (yes, He made “bum bum bum”s with his mouth) . . . MIKE HUCKABEE!

ME: Double freakin' holy crap! I'd better get this info out there.

GOD (Sarcastically): Yeah, that'll be great. Post it on your blog or something.



So that's how it went down. God told me through the clouds this fine morning that Mike Huckabee, for all his posturing as a “Christian” candidate, is in fact the Antichrist. Hee hee hee.

But not being content simply with God telling me as much, I decided to weigh in the facts. Let's see an in-depth biblical analysis of Huckabee's Anti-Christian identity. So I turned to “Bible Universe”, some gay website who had a whole page devoted to it. Let's break it down, point by excruciating point that they go over (my analysis of their points in italics):

The Antichrist is revealed before the second coming of Jesus. (2 Thessalonians 2:1-3) Well, Jesus ain't showed up yet, so that's good to go.

The Antichrist has a visible leader. (Acts 20:30; 2 Thessalonians 2:4; Daniel 7:8) Mike Huckabee has the support of all those “Christian” televangelists. That's pretty much built-in psychotic leadership.

The Antichrist comes from within the church. (Acts 20:30; 2 Thessalonians 2:4) Southern Baptist minister, anyone?

and then takes up residence in the church (2 Thessalonians 2:4) I repeat, Southern Baptist minister . . .

The Antichrist rules for a long period of time. (Revelation 13:5, 12:6, 12:14; Daniel 7:25) He certainly will if we elect him.

The Antichrist receives its power from the Devil. (Revelation 13:2; Revelation 12:9) How else would you classify his meteoric rise to power?

The Antichrist blasphemes God. (Revelation 13:5-6; Daniel 7:8,20,25) Well, his own bigoted behavior blasphemes rather mightily.

The Antichrist tries to change God's law. (Daniel 7:25) By pardoning convicted criminals, perhaps?

The Antichrist persecutes the people who keep God's law. (Revelation 13:2, 12:17, 14:12; Daniel 7:21) Look at how he (and others in his “denomination”) treat fellow believers.


All the other sections deal with things after the Antichrist is in charge (which, thank heavens, Huckabee ain't yet). So now we know what we must do – we must rise up in revolt against this potential Antichrist and opponent of the BIG GUY UPSTAIRS! Iowa, it's all on you. Don't start us off on the wrong foot and blow it here, you retards.

Don't blow it. Or you deserve your Antichrist.

Comments (Page 3)
4 Pages1 2 3 4 
on Jan 02, 2008
How about I give you all a call, I'll just tell you who I am. If that's what you really want. But why can't a guy (?) have a normal political conversation without all the added speculation? I have yet to post any info online of any of you, with the exception of Sabrina I thought you were more like Braeden and Angela and more open with your real name. My apologies. I know you can track my IP address, Angela, I have a couple documented cases where you did it before. I need to have a talk with Brad about this soon, I don’t think it's quite on the up and up, you made some people very unhappy. I thought there was something in the policy against that, let me know if I'm wrong. Also, Brandie, be more careful with what you put online. I'm DoD as well, you're not supposed to put departure and arrival times for units online and open source. It's bad practice.

Now important issue of the day, I think everyone should go on glassbooth. Might solve some of these problems.
on Jan 02, 2008
Ron Paul would never get my vote, part of my vote goes to who won't force a RIF. I work for the DoD, and this guy will compromise our security. Best three for national security would be Rudy, McCain, and Huckabee, not necessarily in that order. And National Security is not just strengthening our borders, but also in our oversees efforts. We always need to be a selective engagement country.



Hello,

Talk about idiocy. Goodness. Why are you capitalizing "National Security" is it some sort of holy idol or something? and "our efforts overseas"? Please? "Selective engagement"? More nuevo-military speak? If you do, indeed, work for the DoD I hope you are near retirement. The best thing we could do internationaly is learn we are in this world together.

Be well and BTW, So Daiho Hilbert is my real name Bows to you.
on Jan 02, 2008
you're not supposed to put departure and arrival times for units online and open source


Please link to where I have done this because I am certain I have not. If you can show me where I have I will give you a full and humble apology.

I'm very aware of OPSEC.

on Jan 02, 2008
Haha, yes and talk to Brad. I'm sure you know him personally. I love how you throw out first names. Awesome.
on Jan 02, 2008
I love how you throw out first names.


He reminds me of Andy Bernard.

"I'm going to get to the top here by personality mirroring and name repetition" . . .
on Jan 02, 2008
on Jan 03, 2008
Sodaiho,
I apologize for using all those military "slang" words, I must be brainwashed by hearing about people who try to kill us daily.

"The best thing we could do internationally is learn we are in this world together."

Uh-huh.....you keep saving those whales man. Let me ask you a question. If you don't agree with a selective engagement approach to overseas resolution when regarding national securities and interest, what do you propose? You seem like the kind of guy who wants to hold hands and talk about differences, then hug and make up. Let me give you a hint, next time you visit the middle east, go hold the hand of the guy running at you yelling "Allahu Akbar".

"Be well and BTW, So Daiho Hilbert is my real name Bows to you."

Great, try not to make enemies, remember with a full name and DOB one can find a SS#. Protect that credit man... Be Well.









on Jan 03, 2008
And I like Andy, he's a funny guy.
on Jan 03, 2008
(Citizen)SanChoninoJanuary 2, 2008 19:45:24Reply #39


haahahaha

Know what's funny about this? Last night I was thinking maybe I'll just pencil myself in as President when I vote. And wouldn't it be hilarious if I voted first and all the voting machines were netted together...some bug put my name on every single ballot in the US...and then people said, hey I'm voting for this Tova person because (insert reason)...and then WA-LA I won!

I could make JU my cabinet.

hahahahaha





Nah, I really wouldn't want the job.
on Jan 03, 2008
I could make JU my cabinet.


Nice. But only the logical ones, please.

After thinking about this, I've come to one conclusion:

Though I hate Mike Huckabee, and most of the other candidates aren't much better, the President of the United States doesn't really do a whole lot. I mean, he/she has a cabinet full of advisors, speech writers, assistants, the CIA, the FBI, the Secret Service, not to mention all of Congress. With all of these people around, the President really can't change a whole lot. Can he?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but a lot of the issues the candidates are fighting about are issues that have to go through Congress before a change can be made. So as long as there is a RATIONAL individual as President, who does it matter who it is?

The trick here, of course, is to put someone in office that is open to new ideas, change, and doing what the people want, not what he/she wants. Right?

Regardless of race, sex, OR religion.
on Jan 03, 2008
I wouldn't vote for Romney or Huckabee, either. But not because of religion. I just don't think either of them is the best candidate for the job. I think religion, while important to individuals as it should be, has played far too large a role in this race for the presidency.

Huckabee is, as has been stated by both you, Whip, and San Chonino, in short, a very bad man. I read your article about him and the whole "pardoning" of convicted rapists, and the favoritism he displayed toward crappy guitarists, and I don't want a man like that "running" the country.

As for Mitt, I don't like his politics, simple as that. He can't make a decision, and I think he's trying to be the next Kennedy. I don't like him. But for different reasons than Huckabee.

By the way, Wallace, keep your mind off of my panties, sicko. Little pervert.

on Jan 04, 2008

I know you can track my IP address, Angela, I have a couple documented cases where you did it before. I need to have a talk with Brad about this soon, I don’t think it's quite on the up and up, you made some people very unhappy.

Say what?  And, how did I get pulled into this?

Anyway, since you act like you have a clue of who I am and who Brad is...then you surely know that I am the VP of Operations at the company that owns this site so I have access to all the records pertaining to this site.  It's not like it's hard to find my company profile on the main Stardock site or anything...here, I'll even point it out: https://www.stardock.com/about/management.asp

How would you have "records" of me "tracking" your IP?  All I did was simply look you up in the database.  lol 

And, yes, that is "up and up" and fully within my legal rights as an officer of this corporation.

But, feel free to chat with Brad.  It will give us something to chuckle about in our next meeting.  It would go something like this:

Brad: Who is this "WallaceStevens" character, anyway?
Me: Just some clueless dude on JU.
Brad: Why is he emailing me?
Me: Not sure....I guess he's just some clueless dude.  BTW, he has an alter ego.  Maybe we should ban him?

I think you see how these things go.  It's a privately owned site.  If you annoy the hell out of us, you leave.  m'kay?  'nuff said.

 

on Jan 05, 2008
*comment removed by admin* Note to all: insult and post private info about an admin- you get banned. This is a privately owned site. You have no "rights" to be here. Admins do not tolerate being harassed, threatened or insulted.
on Jan 05, 2008
Dude, Wallace.

You're about the least intelligent person I've encountered on here. Calling the VP of Stardock unintelligent to her face?

Now that's audacity.

I was going to blacklist you now that Brad says he's got it working again, but what's the point? Karma's probably going to ban your ass from this site, anyway.
on Jan 05, 2008
Chones- you were going to blacklist me? It's ok for you to go after other people, but when one comes after you..... Stop being a girl, no wonder why you can't get one.

Same to you sabrina, can there be a bigger hypocrite, you modern day Pharisee. You are probably the worst of them all. It's almost like I hurt your feelings, but will that stop you from ragging on more people....probably not. I've never met two people so proud, when they have nothing, as I do with you and flipper. But I must say, you people on JU have provided me with some entertainment over the last year. I also got a good feeling about my life, by hearing about yours makes me smile I'm not you.
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