Warning! These bands will make you GAY

or; fundies just out to save me . . .

Published on January 31, 2007 By SanChonino In Music

I stumbled upon this website this morning, Love God's Way. Now, I'm not one to get mad at Christian fundamentalists who put up websites to promote their message, but this one specifically made me laugh.

These people are super-anti-gay. I mean, super. Want proof? The "minister" of this "church" has a "band" (all of these hypothetical statements). Their best song is a little ditty they call "God Hates Fags". (You want to see the video of this atrocity? Check it out here.)

What the hell? You call this a ministry? You call this "Love God's Way"? What happened to "love the sinner, hate the sin"? From them, I'm getting more of a "hate the sinner, wish I could perform the sin".

I thought this was a joke. I really don't anymore. They seem dead-frakking serious about this. From their own mission statement:

Quite simply, it has become apparent that the Moral Majority has crumbled and lost the Way. If not obvious in the Corruption and Scandal in our Republican party, then one does not have to turn far to see the Abuses and Indiscretions espoused by our church leaders. Join Us in or efforts to rebuild the Moral Majority.

And if just spreading their message of hate isn't enough, they've got a hefty list of "Gay Bands" and "Safe Bands". Wanna see some of the winners of the "Gay Bands" Award? (Keep in mind, this is nowhere near all the list, just some of them that stuck out to me.)

Bjork
The Grateful Dead
The Doors
Phish
Queen
Metallica
Judas Priest
The Rolling Stones
David Bowie
Depeche Mode
Kansas
John Mayer
Barry Manilow
Nirvana
The Killers
Motorhead
Frank Sinatra
Audioslave
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Panic at the Disco

What the HELL?!?!? Barry Manilow will make you gay? Nirvana will make you gay? SINATRA will make you gay? Get a life, you fag-haters. Wanna see some of the "Safe Bands"? (This list is much, much shorter.)

Dresden Dolls
UnderOath
Cyndi Lauper
Falling Up
Flyleaf
THE TURNING
Disciple
P.O.D
Evanescence
By The Tree
Scott Reed
Michael W. Smith
Jars of Clay
DC Talk
Danielson

I take it back. That's the WHOLE. DAMN. LIST. Wow, what choices.

My message for the "Love God's Way" minister? You suck. As a person, and as a singer. Your music sucks ass. I'd rather pluck my eyeballs out with a STRAW than listen you your rancid hate.

Go to hell. I'm sure you'll hang out with all your "Gay Bands" down there.

Don't diss my Bjork. I love that crazy lil' chick.

Comments (Page 4)

dynamaso

on Feb 01, 2007

is this one of the most elaborate online jokes I've ever seen?

I don't know but I'm will to bet he is dead serious. You should read his rant about how MySpace and Google are conspiring against him. I laughed my head off but had a feeling he meant every word of it.

maybe i'll drop him a note and tell him that ummmmm, i dunno, ummmmmm...merle haggard will turn ya gay cause if you play parts of "okie from meskokee" backwards, it describes his desire to ride the hershey highway, lol

Go on, I dare ya, Sean.

Man, I wish you would. I was thinking of sending him an email and telling him my band should be added to the 'Gay Bands' list, just to see if he would.

SanChonino

on Feb 01, 2007

I was thinking of sending him an email and telling him my band should be added to the 'Gay Bands' list, just to see if he would.

Now I get it! No wonder you made it to the top of the charts so well, turning all your listeners gay . . .

BlueDev

on Feb 01, 2007

This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

dynamaso

on Feb 01, 2007

No wonder you made it to the top of the charts so well, turning all your listeners gay . . .

Hey, don't tell everyone our secret mate. They'll all be doing it... Erm, I mean, oh, never mind...

Sean Conners aka SConn1

on Feb 01, 2007

I was thinking of sending him an email and telling him my band should be added to the 'Gay Bands' list, just to see if he would.

wow, that's an even better idea....i can always use some more publicity, lol

Shovelheat

on Feb 01, 2007

I have in my possession a book entitled The Pied Piper of Rock and Roll by Dennis Corle. it was given to me by a friend who was in some weird Christian rehab thing once upon a time. One of these days I'll post some parts of it that you just wouldn't believe!

SanChonino

on Feb 01, 2007

One of these days I'll post some parts of it that you just wouldn't believe!

Please, for the love of all that's good, do it. We need laughs on a constant basis.

Sean Conners aka SConn1

on Feb 02, 2007

I have in my possession a book entitled The Pied Piper of Rock and Roll by Dennis Corle. it was given to me by a friend who was in some weird Christian rehab thing once upon a time. One of these days I'll post some parts of it that you just wouldn't believe!

we used to play the tapes that the evangelical churches distributed that were all about "backwards masking" and such back in the day....they were hilarious...then we modified a cassette player (flipped the heads) so we could play stuff backwards too...

SanChonino

on Feb 02, 2007

The story is that he was mourning some lost love or another and Mandy was trying to comfort him, licking his face and whatnot. He got angry and 'sent her away' ---kicked her outside where she was promptly hit by a car.

That puts a whole new twist on everything about that song . . . the next time my sister is talking about how much she loves that song, I'll shatter every love she has for it . . .

SanChonino

on Feb 02, 2007

Hey! I just saw that this article is #2 on the Daily Top Articles list! Yay!

I may not be in blogging here for the points, but I am in it for the interaction. Thanks, all for sticking around and making this thread fun.

amandapearl2

on Mar 26, 2007

So I just watched this video. WOW. That's all I have to say. And I like how John Mayer will turn you gay. Right. And the Dresden Dolls are no where near Christian. They have songs about sex changes, rape, self mutilation, and a bunch of other not so Christian themes. I love them, but they are not Christian at all. Thanks for making me laugh.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!