Warning! These bands will make you GAY

or; fundies just out to save me . . .

Published on January 31, 2007 By SanChonino In Music

I stumbled upon this website this morning, Love God's Way. Now, I'm not one to get mad at Christian fundamentalists who put up websites to promote their message, but this one specifically made me laugh.

These people are super-anti-gay. I mean, super. Want proof? The "minister" of this "church" has a "band" (all of these hypothetical statements). Their best song is a little ditty they call "God Hates Fags". (You want to see the video of this atrocity? Check it out here.)

What the hell? You call this a ministry? You call this "Love God's Way"? What happened to "love the sinner, hate the sin"? From them, I'm getting more of a "hate the sinner, wish I could perform the sin".

I thought this was a joke. I really don't anymore. They seem dead-frakking serious about this. From their own mission statement:

Quite simply, it has become apparent that the Moral Majority has crumbled and lost the Way. If not obvious in the Corruption and Scandal in our Republican party, then one does not have to turn far to see the Abuses and Indiscretions espoused by our church leaders. Join Us in or efforts to rebuild the Moral Majority.

And if just spreading their message of hate isn't enough, they've got a hefty list of "Gay Bands" and "Safe Bands". Wanna see some of the winners of the "Gay Bands" Award? (Keep in mind, this is nowhere near all the list, just some of them that stuck out to me.)

Bjork
The Grateful Dead
The Doors
Phish
Queen
Metallica
Judas Priest
The Rolling Stones
David Bowie
Depeche Mode
Kansas
John Mayer
Barry Manilow
Nirvana
The Killers
Motorhead
Frank Sinatra
Audioslave
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Panic at the Disco

What the HELL?!?!? Barry Manilow will make you gay? Nirvana will make you gay? SINATRA will make you gay? Get a life, you fag-haters. Wanna see some of the "Safe Bands"? (This list is much, much shorter.)

Dresden Dolls
UnderOath
Cyndi Lauper
Falling Up
Flyleaf
THE TURNING
Disciple
P.O.D
Evanescence
By The Tree
Scott Reed
Michael W. Smith
Jars of Clay
DC Talk
Danielson

I take it back. That's the WHOLE. DAMN. LIST. Wow, what choices.

My message for the "Love God's Way" minister? You suck. As a person, and as a singer. Your music sucks ass. I'd rather pluck my eyeballs out with a STRAW than listen you your rancid hate.

Go to hell. I'm sure you'll hang out with all your "Gay Bands" down there.

Don't diss my Bjork. I love that crazy lil' chick.

Comments (Page 2)

SanChonino

on Jan 31, 2007

Barry Manilow is probably single-handedly responsible for the gay conversion of millions of closet fags who wish their mothers had named them Mandy.

I'll grant you Barry . . . I mean, come on, Copacabana? Trash.

Gideon MacLeish

on Jan 31, 2007

Good grief...the only ones on the "gay" list that aren't on my playlist are Bjork and Manilow! This must mean something, since the only ones on the "safe" list that aren't on my playlist are, uh, everyone.

S'OK, though...I played D&D in high school, so I KNOW I'm doomed!

SanChonino

on Jan 31, 2007

S'OK, though...I played D&D in high school, so I KNOW I'm doomed!

At least you're willing to admit it!

And Bjork should be in everyone's playlist.

(Sorry, I'm on a big Bjork kick lately.)

Zoologist03

on Jan 31, 2007

Well...if that's the case, I'd rather be gay then only listen to the "straight band list". Apparently only gay people are allowed to listen to good music...

~Zoo

cactoblasta

on Jan 31, 2007

I can't believe the Dresden Dolls are on the straight list! They're quirky, offbeat and riddled with effeminacy (or whatever the word is). I don't know a single gay man who doesn't go ape for the Dresden Dolls.

SilentPoet

on Jan 31, 2007

Is it me, or does this guy have a myspace fetish?

Sheesh...

~L

BlueDev

on Jan 31, 2007

Hilarious. Pure comedy gold. This is just too good.

SanChonino

on Jan 31, 2007

I can't believe the Dresden Dolls are on the straight list!

Good point. I'm thinking, just maybe, like Baker said, he's trying to deal with his own gay tendencies, and that is his gay-ness coming through . . .

Pure comedy gold. This is just too good.

Abso-frakking-lutely.

Zoologist03

on Jan 31, 2007

You know...I was checking out that guy's site. God is really going to kick his ass one of these days. I don't even think homophobic is a strong enough word to describe him.

But...what do I know? I'm just a straight guy listening to gay music...

~Zoo

SanChonino

on Jan 31, 2007

I'm just a straight guy listening to gay music...

You're just like Sally . . .

You're a lesbian trapped in a man's body!

SanChonino

on Jan 31, 2007

On a side note . . .

The video is not working now. Suspicious, very suspicious.

Maybe we made the bandwidth increase so much they got shut down! I can only hope.

Zoologist03

on Jan 31, 2007

You're a lesbian trapped in a man's body!

I always had that sneaking suspicion.

~Zoo

bakerstreet

on Jan 31, 2007

There's a link to download bittorent HQ (misnomer, in this case) versions of the video. Mr. 'Oh God, Please Help Me Control My Urge to Bugger Men' is still out there, and people should know about him.

dynamaso

on Jan 31, 2007

Man, I needed a good laugh. Thanks!

So the Rolling Stones are gay, huh? I guess The Beatles are too, as they're not on the 'Safe' list. Both these bands are probably responsible for producing more children (by providing appropriate mood music) than any other bands. And lets not even start on Sinatra.

I love the way zealots like these feel the need to capitalise words not normally capitalised, such as 'Corruption and Scandal', like the words aren't strong enough in meaning as they are.

Fruitcakes come in all varieties, don't they?

bakerstreet

on Jan 31, 2007

Hey, read this. LOL, someone is more popular than they want to be...

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