Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.

So I was just playing around on the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website earlier today, and I found the 'Hate Mail (and concerned criticism)' section.  It's a treasure trove of very godlike behavior from concerned citizens who feel compelled to call the Pastafarians on the errors of their ways.

Here's some of my favorites, edited for the kiddies (and when I mean edited, I mean edited.  Each change I've made for decency's sake will be italicized).

--

This is just pure bullsh**, what religion creates T shirts, ipod covers? I don’t see people wearing T shirts saying “Christianity”, or Ipod covers with the cross on it. This is a scam, you people need to get out more.

-Some1

Hmm?  Where has this person been hanging out?  Under a rock?  Because I've seen both iPod covers and mountains of t-shirts.

But maybe I just imagined all those things.

wtf this is a bunch of bullstuff. why would you believe in spaghetti creating man?? and why would heaven have beer and strippers??? this is poo. some guy just randomly thought: “oh spaghetti is so good. it must be god.” i mean what the fudge?! jesus is real and i dont care what you guys think. you deny him, you’ll all burn in hell for eternity. so have fun!!

-JIR

Gotta love that Jesus zeal, but I don't think diatribes like that are going to win believers.

Just an idea.

I am the phophet of the chruch!!!!!!

Just Kidding, what the fudge do they believe in, it is so fudgeing hilarious that they believe in something that looks like a kindergardener made with glue , spegetti, and scissors.

THEY SHOULD JUST SUCK BY GIGANTIC CARP!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANY ONE WHO BELIEVES IN THIS SHOULD GO KILL THEMSELVES WITH A MOTHERTRUCKING KNIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another winning entry in the 'I'm a jerk' category of today's messages.  I love the yelling, too.  Makes me feel so comfortable.  (Now, you might say, this person isn't a believer.  But a non-believer wouldn't threaten Pastafarians with 'burn[ing] in hell for all eternity' without believing that hell exists.)

But I think this one is the winner for me, if only for its clever use of imagery:

Simply put your a fudge-nut. This icon you have
created will burn for eternity in hell with you. You
soulless bastage child. I know God created me but I
think you were created when a homeless crasshole
masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning, a little Bobby crawled from the garbage and
would latter fill the heads of children with stupid
FECES! I hope you chop your richard off so you cant
procreate. I defecate on your faith in this delicious
Italian God. I have given up eating spaghetti.

-Thom

Yes.   These people will be rationalized away is unbelievers, due to their behavior, their words, and such.  But they believe that they believe, and that's enough for me.

People wonder why religion drives others away?  When the religious act like this we shoot ourselves in the foot.  This isn't how you share your message - this is how you close ears forever.

Smooth move, dummies.


Comments (Page 2)
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on Jun 14, 2008

Wow.  Gee, that's the way to win friends and influence others! 

Nice post, brother.  I totally agree with you.  There's the quiet Christians, that teach by example.  You know, when you see someone that you respect and want to be like and THEN you find out they live that way because of their religion.  Then there's the Jesus Fish carrying, Bible-bashing, gung-ho damn-you-all-to-Hell Christians like those haters.


Makes me glad people don't consider me one. 

 

on Jun 16, 2008

Perhaps, if you prefer us to tip toe around uncomfortably to avoid criticizing 'God' in some imagined way.


Actually, I was referring to the fact that I found you quite obnoxious and arrogant, which means that neither attribute really has anything to do with religion.


Some people think they are better than others because of their beliefs.


Like the atheist who thinks that not believing in a god makes him more rational than those who believe?

Frankly, when I meet people who condemn beliefs, not specific ones but as many as they can, they never mean their own beliefs.
on Jun 16, 2008

The hate mail is both funny and sad. People never cease to amazed me with their idiocy.

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