Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.

So I was just playing around on the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website earlier today, and I found the 'Hate Mail (and concerned criticism)' section.  It's a treasure trove of very godlike behavior from concerned citizens who feel compelled to call the Pastafarians on the errors of their ways.

Here's some of my favorites, edited for the kiddies (and when I mean edited, I mean edited.  Each change I've made for decency's sake will be italicized).

--

This is just pure bullsh**, what religion creates T shirts, ipod covers? I don’t see people wearing T shirts saying “Christianity”, or Ipod covers with the cross on it. This is a scam, you people need to get out more.

-Some1

Hmm?  Where has this person been hanging out?  Under a rock?  Because I've seen both iPod covers and mountains of t-shirts.

But maybe I just imagined all those things.

wtf this is a bunch of bullstuff. why would you believe in spaghetti creating man?? and why would heaven have beer and strippers??? this is poo. some guy just randomly thought: “oh spaghetti is so good. it must be god.” i mean what the fudge?! jesus is real and i dont care what you guys think. you deny him, you’ll all burn in hell for eternity. so have fun!!

-JIR

Gotta love that Jesus zeal, but I don't think diatribes like that are going to win believers.

Just an idea.

I am the phophet of the chruch!!!!!!

Just Kidding, what the fudge do they believe in, it is so fudgeing hilarious that they believe in something that looks like a kindergardener made with glue , spegetti, and scissors.

THEY SHOULD JUST SUCK BY GIGANTIC CARP!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANY ONE WHO BELIEVES IN THIS SHOULD GO KILL THEMSELVES WITH A MOTHERTRUCKING KNIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another winning entry in the 'I'm a jerk' category of today's messages.  I love the yelling, too.  Makes me feel so comfortable.  (Now, you might say, this person isn't a believer.  But a non-believer wouldn't threaten Pastafarians with 'burn[ing] in hell for all eternity' without believing that hell exists.)

But I think this one is the winner for me, if only for its clever use of imagery:

Simply put your a fudge-nut. This icon you have
created will burn for eternity in hell with you. You
soulless bastage child. I know God created me but I
think you were created when a homeless crasshole
masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning, a little Bobby crawled from the garbage and
would latter fill the heads of children with stupid
FECES! I hope you chop your richard off so you cant
procreate. I defecate on your faith in this delicious
Italian God. I have given up eating spaghetti.

-Thom

Yes.   These people will be rationalized away is unbelievers, due to their behavior, their words, and such.  But they believe that they believe, and that's enough for me.

People wonder why religion drives others away?  When the religious act like this we shoot ourselves in the foot.  This isn't how you share your message - this is how you close ears forever.

Smooth move, dummies.


Comments (Page 1)
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on Jun 11, 2008
Ooh! How about threats against non-believers?

i personally think you are the worlds biggest piece of feces, i live in kansas and read your letter to the school board and i have to admit i thought that facism was the most retarded thing i’d ever heard, well now i’m wrong i hope somebody beats your head in with a metal pipe, hey come to wamego kansas and i’m sure somebody can make sure that happens
sincerely joe [removed]
life long catholic
redneck and proud of it
WHS Football lineman GO! Raiders


Nice. Threats of violence against the creator of Pastafarianism. Insecure much?
on Jun 11, 2008

This just made my day. Thanks, I needed a good laugh. Epic win.

on Jun 11, 2008
This just made my day. Thanks, I needed a good laugh. Epic win.


Glad to put a smile on your face. I can't help but giggle as I read the hate mail on that site. It's priceless.
on Jun 11, 2008
The same type of person who loves the Chronicles of Narnia but get bent out of shape when Harry Potter is mentioned...
on Jun 11, 2008
The same type of person who loves the Chronicles of Narnia but get bent out of shape when Harry Potter is mentioned...


I love those types. They're so humorous. Makes me want to puke I laugh so hard.
on Jun 11, 2008


Flying Spaghetti Monster vs. Invisible Pink Unicorn - what a matchup.
on Jun 11, 2008

Go raiders!  lol

 

FSM adherents should really look here as well.

Why Won't God Heal Amputees?

 

 

on Jun 11, 2008

* comes back from Flying Spaghetti Monster Site* Oh my goodness! * giggling*

on Jun 11, 2008
This is hilarious. I particularly love this bit:

life long catholic
redneck and proud of it
WHS Football lineman GO! Raiders


as though being threatend by a redneck, catholic lineman is going to make any frackin' difference to my opinions.

Truly riotious. Thanks for the laugh, mate.
on Jun 11, 2008

Geesh, even God is probably getting some laughs out of this website, and chuckling even more over the hate mail.

on Jun 13, 2008

I don't think _religion_ drives others away. I think it's specific religions (or interpretations of those religions) that do.

Your typical "Christian" as seen on Web forums is perhaps not the best representative of Christianity. The words you luckily edited out tell a lot about those "Christians".

Remember the old saying: What Peter says about Paul says more about Peter than about Paul.

 

These people will be rationalized away is unbelievers, due to their behavior, their words, and such.  But they believe that they believe, and that's enough for me.

Oh, they believe all right. They just happen to believe something I don't believe. That's a feature they share with atheists. Nevertheless, I wouldn't now think that atheists are loonies just because those dudes are.

 

People wonder why religion drives others away?  When the religious act like this we shoot ourselves in the foot.  This isn't how you share your message - this is how you close ears forever.

You are assuming that we want to share a message.

Frankly, I don't care if you believe what I believe, as long as we can agree on certain basic rules. Whether we pray to the same god or not, I do not really care. And as for the message, I don't even know it that well. I try to answer questions when they come up. But faith is still something you have to find yourself, not have others show to you.

 

on Jun 13, 2008

I always find that people who go around touting their religion or who go around making known they are of such-and-such belief are the best examples what their religion should NOT be.


It's not just Christians, although because they are encouraged to "spread the word" tend to be the most prominent of such.

What is it about religion, that it makes people blind to their own obnoxiousness?

 

/2cent

on Jun 13, 2008

I always find that people who go around touting their religion or who go around making known they are of such-and-such belief are the best examples what their religion should NOT be.


I don't know if those of us here who make known their religion usually go around touting it.



What is it about religion, that it makes people blind to their own obnoxiousness?


It's not about religion. Can you imagine?
on Jun 13, 2008

@SanChonino


Thanks for posting that video I cracked up watching it....lmao.

on Jun 13, 2008
I don't know if those of us here who make known their religion usually go around touting it.


I don't know that either. I wasn't restricting my views to people in this community. Like most folks on JU, I live most of my day outside of cyberspace. JU doesn't represent the world at large, can you imagine.


It's not about religion.


Perhaps, if you prefer us to tip toe around uncomfortably to avoid criticizing 'God' in some imagined way.

It only shows that religion does nothing to make a person better, I guess. But it does blind them some more to their already skewered view of themselves, I suppose. Some people think they are better than others because of their beliefs. For them, it is about religion.

I have a passport to heaven and I can do whatever I want because I am a child of God and he loves me for what I am no matter what. All I got to do is confess and I will be forgiven. Neh-nenny-neh-neh. Maybe I'll go up against a known atheist who will reject my beliefs in return and thus I will be "persecuted" and earn myself a star of further approval from God.

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