(Thanks to erathoniel, whose article inspired this.)

San Chonino would make the best president for three reasons.  He will get respect from foreign nations, he has all the necessary experience, and he will lead the nation through the turbulent times we face.

First:  San Chonino would make the best president because he will get respect from foreign nations.  Our opponents respect hotties, and he is pretty much the biggest hottie of them all.  Having an old fart like McCain, while an important civil rights goal for geriatrics, is not best suited for our nation right now.  Plus, his name means 'Saint of Ladies' Undergarments', and is just plain kewl.

Second:  San Chonino would make the best choices for America because he has the most experience.  An ex-Starcraft player and experienced galaxy-ruler, San Chonino knows war and peace greater than any of the other candidates.

Third:  San Chonino is the best presidential candidate because he will lead the nation through the dangerous times ahead safely.  He knows what to do in an emergency due to his experience (just last night, for example, he kicked the Yor from hell to breakfast in two turn's time) and he is acceptable by all foreign nations (for the hotness mentioned in point one.  This is a circular, meaningless point that simply reiterates the empty messages of 1 and 2.)

San Chonino is America's best Presidential Candidate because he can lead the nation through the dangers ahead, he is more experienced, and will receive respect from our opponents and allies alike.