Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
Published on April 22, 2008 By SanChonino In Politics

(Thanks to erathoniel, whose article inspired this.)

San Chonino would make the best president for three reasons.  He will get respect from foreign nations, he has all the necessary experience, and he will lead the nation through the turbulent times we face.

 

First:  San Chonino would make the best president because he will get respect from foreign nations.  Our opponents respect hotties, and he is pretty much the biggest hottie of them all.  Having an old fart like McCain, while an important civil rights goal for geriatrics, is not best suited for our nation right now.  Plus, his name means 'Saint of Ladies' Undergarments', and is just plain kewl.

Second:  San Chonino would make the best choices for America because he has the most experience.  An ex-Starcraft player and experienced galaxy-ruler, San Chonino knows war and peace greater than any of the other candidates.

Third:  San Chonino is the best presidential candidate because he will lead the nation through the dangerous times ahead safely.  He knows what to do in an emergency due to his experience (just last night, for example, he kicked the Yor from hell to breakfast in two turn's time) and he is acceptable by all foreign nations (for the hotness mentioned in point one.  This is a circular, meaningless point that simply reiterates the empty messages of 1 and 2.)

San Chonino is America's best Presidential Candidate because he can lead the nation through the dangers ahead, he is more experienced, and will receive respect from our opponents and allies alike.


Comments
on Apr 22, 2008
I want a bumper sticker, Ted.

Ted?

TED?!?!?




on Apr 22, 2008

No.

on Apr 22, 2008
Vote for me instead. Make use of your write-in vote for the greater good of your loathsome country!
on Apr 22, 2008
on Apr 22, 2008

I'm sorry, SC.  I love ya man, but Cacto used the word "meme" which means he'd make the best president.  Lessons learned.  Hopefully you understand.  The Saint of Women's Undergarments was a great try, though.

on Apr 22, 2008
I'm-a write you in. Oh wait, you're not old enough. Well, I'll do it when you are.
on Apr 23, 2008


I should win! I have bumper stickers!



PS Thanks, Ted.
on Apr 23, 2008

Sorry, mate, while I really like ya, I just don't like ya in the 'hottie' way   \

Great bumper sticker, though.

on Apr 23, 2008

I love what you started. It's like a JU writing challenge.

I think I just been inspired to write my own.

on Apr 24, 2008

You just might get my vote!lol!

on Apr 24, 2008
I still maintain I have the best reasons for being the president. Never mind the fact that I'm not a 'natural born' citizen. That's beside the point.
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