Most fascinating people of 2006

or; WORSHIP AT THE FEET OF THE CULT OF THE CELEBRITY!

Published on December 12, 2006 By SanChonino In Movies & TV & Books

Yes, it's that time again, children. Time for us to offer up our whole souls to our God again . . . yes, it's time for Barbara Walters' TV special, “The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2006”! Yes, that's right, everybody – bow down and adulate to your God, CELEBRITY, and make sure you worship well!

[/sarcasm]

Let's look at our list of the “Most Fascinating People” this year, and analyze why they're fascinating:

Andre Agassi: Wow, a mostly-washed-up tennis player who's finally realized that the young'uns are kicking his ass, so he's retired. Don't get me wrong, I respect Agassi a lot as an athlete, but what about him is so fascinating?

Sacha Baron Cohen: Well, okay, this sorta makes sense. He did make the “most out-RAGE-ous” movie in years. Whatever. My intrest still ain't piqued.

Patrick Dempsey: Wow, I'm a pretty boy on some show about pretty doctors who screw like monkeys on the gurneys. That's “fascinating”. He's pretty, though, or so the ladies tell me. Yeah.

Jay-Z: Hmm. Rapper. Made lots of money with poor taste in music, lack of grammar skills and a potty mouth that makes me look like a freaking saint. (Oh, wait, I am already.) What's so exciting about him? I dunno.

Rev. Joel Osteen: Okay. Now this guy is fascinating, but only because of how his church works. This isn't what it's going to say in the show, and this isn't what his proponents will tell you, but the platform of his church basically is this: Come to my church (and donate your asses off) and the Lord will make you rich. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I hate evangelists.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Dammit all to hell, do we still pretend to care about these two? Judas Priest. If this is fascinating, I'm going to kill myself. Who wants to join in? We can drink a lot of Kool-Aid . . . Jonestown style, babee.

The widow of Steve Irwin: Okay. He died, and the world mourned. We forgot already. Sorry. Not fascinating. I felt bad when he died, but come on. He's dead, let's all move on.

JonBenet's (killer) daddy: His daughter's been dead for years and years now, but he's still fascinating? Get a grip, Babs, get a m*th*rf*ck*n' grip.

The Editor of Vogue magazine: Yes, let's finish the adulation of CELEBRITY by worshiping one of the people who defines what CELEBRITY and BEAUTY is. Awesome.

So there's the list of usual suspects. Are we surprised what they call “fascinating” these days?

I really hate the state of CELEBRITY in this country sometimes. That glass of Kool-Aid is looking more and more appealing . . .

PS Feliz día de la morena, la virgen de Guadalupe. For those of you who don't know, it's party time in Mexico today. It's the day they celebrate the vision of the virgin of Guadalupe to Juan Diego. So . . . party down, everyone.

Comments

Locamama

on Dec 12, 2006

So who would be on your list of most fascinating people of 2006. I had seen an interview of Baba wawa a while ago and she was most proud of her interviews with Anwar Sadat, etc. and no one watched. No one cared. They care about Angelina and Brad. I have to say that the celebrity worship kind of makes me sick but I still know that Jen and Vince are breaking up and that Angelina took Brad to Falling Water for his birthday. And I do have to say I had tears when Andre played his last game at the Open. Somehow it's kind of an end of an era. It was bigger than him.

And hey I was going to write a blog about Our Lady of Guadalupe. I may still. So is are you going to be a espanol teacher? What is it you are going to school for anyway?

Dr Guy

on Dec 12, 2006

I had seen an interview of Baba wawa a while ago and she was most proud of her interviews with Anwar Sadat, etc. and no one watched. No one cared. They care about Angelina and Brad.

That is very true, and so sad.

SanChonino

on Dec 12, 2006

And hey I was going to write a blog about Our Lady of Guadalupe. I may still. So is are you going to be a espanol teacher? What is it you are going to school for anyway?

I'm a spanish major, and I'm going to go to grad school and get a Ph. D. Then I want to be a professor. So, that's the plan.

I had seen an interview of Baba wawa a while ago and she was most proud of her interviews with Anwar Sadat, etc. and no one watched.

Isn't it sickening? Gotta love America.

And write something about the virgen. It would be interesting to hear it from a Catholic perspective.

BlueDev

on Dec 12, 2006

I don't find any of them fascinating at all. What a bunch of tools.

Hell, I'm more fascinating than they are.

SanChonino

on Dec 12, 2006

Hell, I'm more fascinating than they are.

I agree. We should be on the list of most fascinating people.

dynamaso

on Dec 12, 2006

Andre is a tennis legend. He was also married to Brooke Shields. Unfortunately, this makes him public property. Okay, at the very least, it makes him fodder for gossip mags. I like Andre and respect him as an athlete. But he is only a tennis player. If he were a Nobel prize-winning author or diplomat, well then I could expect the world to be a little more fascinated. But he is only a tennis player.

As for the rest of your list, with the possible exception of Sacha, none of them, or at least those I know, are doing anything to better the world, to increase awareness of issues dealing with poverty or disease. Fascinating they're not...

Sacha is a genius, albeit in the 'crazy as a loon' category. I think he has no shame and balls of steel to do the things he does. Personas aside, he is a very intelligent, well read man who isn't afraid to put himself on the line. I just wish people like him would use what they have to help the world rather than take the piss out it.

SanChonino

on Dec 12, 2006

I agree with the fact that he was/is a great tennis player. One of the best Americans who ever played the game. But he's still not fascinating. Although, all of those who remember that Brooke Shields movie about the lagoon or the beach, would think she was fascinating, at least.

But I don't see why any of those people are genuinely "fascinating". Sycophantic Americans.

foreverserenity

on Dec 12, 2006

I like Sacha too. I enjoy watching his show because I can't believe the balls the man have to do what he does! It's a pity he's getting sued left right and center. I guess people have no sense of humor anymore!

I don't usually like television Evangelists but I really like Joel Osteen. He really speaks the most truthful, to me, out of all of the ones I've seen. I like what he has to say.

JayZ, now here's a guy who I admire for not just staying a Rapper, he became a business mogul as well!

As for them being on the Top 10 list? Naw, the three I list are interesting to me, but there are others out in this world who are doing so much more, something to make it a better place, who should have been on the list. I think Barbara and her crew really need to look farther a field and find people that really interest other people!

Like a couple of those people who won the Nobel Peace Prize this year. I forgot the guys name he helped women in Africa by giving them small loans and they in turn helped themselves. Now there's a fascinating person!

dynamaso

on Dec 15, 2006

Serenity,

The name of the Nobel Peace Prize you're talking about is Muhammed Yunus, who started giving small loans to poverty-stricken people of Bangladesh, in cooperation with his bank, which also shared the prize. This is called micro-credit and has helped many people turn their lives around. Muhammed is known as the 'father of the poor'. He is truly a fascinating person.

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