Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
or; thoughts on an Unamuno
Published on May 3, 2006 By SanChonino In Philosophy
I've been reading an awful lot by my favorite author, Miguel de Unamuno, lately. (Long story as to why – maybe I'll blog about it, but if anyone's interested in hearing about it before then drop me an e-mail.) But as I've been digesting his works, I've been coming to understand the man all the more. He was one of the first existentialists – but his heart and soul were, as for most Spaniards, catholic. So while he had trouble believing in God for his whole life, he always tried to reconcile his disbelief with his desire to believe. I think he himself summed it up best in a poem called “La oración del ateo” (The atheist's prayer) – this is my bad almost midnight translation, but I hope I can get the gist of it.

“Hear my prayer, Oh non-existent God, and gather my doubts in your nothingness, you who never leaves us poor humans without your hidden comforts. You never resist our prayers and you always see our yearning. When you are far from me, I remember all the more the words of my love as she would sweeten my sad nights. How great you are, my God! You are so great that you are only Idea; reality is very wide to try and fit your nothingness. I suffer at your cost, non-existent God, but if you existed than I would also truly exist.”

His yearning to find out if God was really there or not for some reason pull on my heartstrings a bit. And this is a constant theme throughout his works – I'm currently reading a book of his essays, called “Mi Religión y otros ensayos breves” (My Religion and other short essays), and this sense of melancholy also pervades this work. It's amazing, it's thoughtful, and it's sad and funny all at once.

If any of you are looking for a good read this summer, something that can be light and fun but also heavy and pensive, pick up a copy of the book “Niebla” (Mist). I've found some pretty decent English translations, and it's an amazing read.

I'm grateful for my faith in God, and my surety of my own existence (at least I'm not scared I'm in some Matrix rip-off), but I still can identify with Unamuno's writings. He's one of the world's most under-appreciated writers.

Comments (Page 1)
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on May 05, 2006

Intersting article. 

I think there are a lot of people who, even though they may not believe, really, really want to.  Even those who claim they don't.  There is just something in us that yearns for belief in something greater than us.

on May 05, 2006
There is just something in us that yearns for belief in something greater than us.


That's why I think that Unamuno's style of existential thinking is the only one that's ever really made sense to me. I guess because I have so much faith in God, I can't figure out how people can not believe.
I think, when all is said and done, Unamuno did believe. Which is the most important part. He had troubles with it, but I think he truly did believe.
on May 06, 2006
As far as the book goes, it sounds like something I'd enjoy. Unfortunately I'm a good dozen books behind on my reading at the moment...but who knows, I may pick it up some time in the future


It's amazing my friend. Easily the best book I've read in the last years, one of the best I've ever read. Good good stuff.

And I think you're exactly right, whip. It's really insecurity that causes people to be vitriolic and caustic. Oh well. At least we don't have to listen to them, just like we don't have to listen to any religious person we don't want to.
on May 06, 2006
Someone truly confident in their beliefs (or in this case, non-belief) would not find it necessary to refer to people of faith as "morons, retards, deluded, etc" any more than a person who prefers chocolate ice cream would feel the need to insult and denigrate those who like vanilla better.


that being the case, it would also seem to apply to those who do the same thing when discussing politics, current events, philosophy, etc.
on May 07, 2006
but his heart and soul were, as for most Spaniards, catholic. So while he had trouble believing in God for his whole life, he always tried to reconcile his disbelief with his desire to believe. I think he himself summed it up best in a poem called “La oración del ateo” (The atheist's prayer) – this is my bad almost midnight translation, but I hope I can get the gist of it.

“Hear my prayer, Oh non-existent God, and gather my doubts in your nothingness, you who never leaves us poor humans without your hidden comforts. You never resist our prayers and you always see our yearning. When you are far from me, I remember all the more the words of my love as she would sweeten my sad nights. How great you are, my God! You are so great that you are only Idea; reality is very wide to try and fit your nothingness. I suffer at your cost, non-existent God, but if you existed than I would also truly exist.”


some catholics (those born into an actively catholic family, who attend catholic schools, etc., and i'd guess it's even more true for those who lived their lives in what was, until recently, catholic spain) may find it impossible to disbelieve completely. we are indoctrinated so powerfully and successfully, 'once a catholic, always a catholic' becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and an almost instinctive thing.

those, like myself, who later find themselves no longer in possession of the dubious gift of faith may still wish a god existed for them. it's lots scarier and sadder to accept death without some sorta epiloque. when my brother-in-law died much earlier and more painfully than i felt he should have, i found myself without no target for my anger. when bad things happen to those around me, i'm unable to pray for them...altho there's an automatic impulse. i'm sure if i saw someone tossing consecrated hosts into the street, my initial response would be to wince in pain.

does that mean i still believe? not at all. nor did unamuno if your translation is a valid as i'm guessing it must be.
on May 07, 2006
those, like myself, who later find themselves no longer in possession of the dubious gift of faith may still wish a god existed for them. it's lots scarier and sadder to accept death without some sorta epiloque. when my brother-in-law died much earlier and more painfully than i felt he should have, i found myself without no target for my anger. when bad things happen to those around me, i'm unable to pray for them...altho there's an automatic impulse. i'm sure if i saw someone tossing consecrated hosts into the street, my initial response would be to wince in pain. does that mean i still believe? not at all. nor did unamuno if your translation is a valid as i'm guessing it must be.


I think you're right. He couldn't believe - too much had transpired and he'd seen too much grief to truly let himself believe in God, but he sure wanted to believe more than almost any other atheist I've ever heard of. I can imagine how scary it is to not believe, and it makes me all the more grateful for my belief.
on May 07, 2006
On an unrelated note (sorta): I have a lot of respect for Unamuno because of his values as a family man. As you know, many of our greatest authors and thinkers had family lives that were down the toilet, fraught with divorces, suicides, drug use, etc.

Unamuno didn't have any issues with any of these things. He was happily married to his sweetheart until the day he died. They had (I believe) eight children, six of them girls (a brave man, to be sure ). He didn't commit suidide - he had a heart attack at the decent age of 72. An awesome writer, a great thinker, and one of my literary heroes.

But I digress.
on May 07, 2006

that being the case, it would also seem to apply to those who do the same thing when discussing politics, current events, philosophy, etc.

YOu are getting there.  So are you going to dump Dean, or let him ruin you party?

on May 07, 2006
There is just something in us that yearns for belief in something greater than us.


yes, I believe this. I believe that God has put a little God sized hole in our hearts. Of course we try to fill it with everything but God, but it's only when we finally fit God in do we realize that's the piece we were missing all along.

I remember the day that I finally put God in his rightful spot in my life. It was then I realized that I was truly satisfied never more to be on the hunt to fill the place meant only to be filled by God. I don't think we can love well until we realize we are well loved.
on May 07, 2006
Hey, I commented on this earlier but for some reason it didn't go up. Ah, I don't know what's going on - JU has been a bit twitchy for me just lately. Anyway...

While I consider myself agnostic rather than athiest, I appreciate the idea of a prayer like this. The 'nothingness' stuck a real chord with me, particularly given my enjoyment of Buddhist philosophy. I intend finding some of Unamuno's books. Thanks for this.
on May 07, 2006
Other than insecurity. It's almost like they are trying to convince themselves that they don't believe.

Yup, I think a lot of self-proclaimed "atheists" doth protest too much.


That's probably true for some, but for others I think it's a case of trying to find some ground upon which they can create some self-assuring feeling of superiority. Still based upon some deep insecurity, but with a slightly different angle.
on May 07, 2006
While I consider myself agnostic rather than athiest, I appreciate the idea of a prayer like this. The 'nothingness' stuck a real chord with me, particularly given my enjoyment of Buddhist philosophy. I intend finding some of Unamuno's books. Thanks for this.


Give it a shot, Maso. If you're looking for a great novel, get "Mist" or "San Manuel Bueno, Martyr". They're both splendid. If you want something more in the lines of philosophy, pick up "The Tragic Sense of Life" - it may be the most important book of philosophy ever written in Spanish, and is Unamuno's crowning achievement.
on May 08, 2006
I think I'll go for the philosophical rather than the straight-up novel. Thanks for this, mate. I will let you know what I think once I read something of his.
on May 08, 2006
I think I'll go for the philosophical rather than the straight-up novel. Thanks for this, mate. I will let you know what I think once I read something of his.
on May 08, 2006
Eh, I like Hemingway better.

"Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee."

Cheers.
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