Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
or; hoping the eventual calm comes . . . and soon
Published on March 29, 2006 By SanChonino In Misc
As stated in my last post, I've been feeling rather down lately. I'm doing better this morning, largely due to a song by a band called Redemption. On their last album, they've got a bombastic, epic piece called "The Fullness of Time". It's split into four parts, but the third part is the one I haven't been able to get out of my head. Its chorus, for me right now, is just so poignant-

"'Just release yourself
'cuz they can't rape the willing or take what you have if there's nothing else'
And tired of life and filled with despair,
And covered with blood from the crosses I bear -
But I'm still standing! Should I make myself crawl?
It seems so counter to our nature,
Accepting with grace the things we can't change;
But when all's said and done I hope that you see
that what matters most's what you choose to believe -
should I fight against fate, or should I just lay down and die?"


That's how I've felt as of late - unable to decide between lying down and taking what comes, and fighting against everything. And I continue to vacillate between these two. Oh well - hopefully some release will come soon.

Comments
on Mar 29, 2006
That's how I've felt as of late - unable to decide between lying down and taking what comes, and fighting against everything. And I continue to vacillate between these two. Oh well - hopefully some release will come soon.


You are likely vacillating between the two because the best choice is a mix. It is tough to figure out what you fight and what you lie down for. But I think that is the key. Finding that balance between letting go of what you can while still fighting for what you really need to. It takes just way too much energy to fight everything, but if you spend your whole life on your back, you won't get anything.

Best of luck bro.
on Mar 29, 2006

I agree with BD.

Things you can't change, accept...and move on.  It's not "agreeing" to accept, it is just realizing nothing you can do will change things.  Then apply your energy toward things you can change/help/move that matter.

In my life experience the only real difference I see between people who succeed (my definition at least) and those who don't, is the ability to move on.  It doesn't mean you have to forget, but don't dwell.  EXPECT hardship so when it comes there is no surprise and when it doesn't, its a blessing.

How's that for unsolicited advice?

Hope you're feeling better soon.....(((()))) (hugs).

on Mar 30, 2006
You sound like you don't know what you're wanting or needing. I've definately felt that before. Where I didn't know what to make of current situations or what the outcome of those situations and choices will be.

But I couldn't be happier...
Simply couldn't be happier...
Well, not "simply"...
'Cause getting your dreams,
it's strange, but it seems,
a little - well - complicated

There's a kind of a sort of cost
There's a couple of things that get lost
There are bridges you cross
you didn't know you crossed untill you've crossed

This is from the musical Wicked and it always makes me think about how my chocies of today can effect my happiness of tomorrow.

on Mar 30, 2006
Thanks everyone. I'm feeling quite a bit better today. The news of the person committing suicide really hit me hard, though. I haven't been my usual chipper, fun self . . . and it's really bugging me. Soon, though, good ol' SC will be as optimistic and grumpy (all at the same time) as he ever was. And he'll talk in the third person (that's for you Timmy-timmy, I KNOW how much you LOVE it . . .)