Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
or; a tale of whoa . . . or woe . . . or both
Published on April 25, 2006 By SanChonino In Dating
(BlueDev, if a word of this gets to the parents, I don't care how much bigger or tougher you are, you'll go down . . . this is not for them)

So last Friday I was at work, and Lloyd and I were putting some PVC pipe up on a high shelf. I stood there, trying to hold my end up, while Lloyd persisted in wiggling his. Because of all his movement, all the PVC that I could'nt reach to hold came tumbling down - and right into my waiting face.
The bundle of pipe slammed into my glasses, which in turn collided with the bridge of my nose. My face began to flush, and my eyes began to gush. You know how it is, when anything close to your eyes gets hit, the ol' tear ducts start up, aiming for protection.
So I moved away from the shelving, laughing through my tears. Lloyd of course apologized, I told him that I hated him because he always hurt me, and I went back to work.

As the day continued, my nose continued to throb. It swelled up rather nicely, and while I was home for lunch I put in my contacts so that I wouldn't have the pain or the pressure of the glasses against my nose. I had (well, to be honest, still have) a wicked bruise where my glasses had impacted with my bone. A little embarrasing. But to top it all off, I was going on a date that night.
Thankfully, it was a girl from work, so she knew the whole story and thought it was funny.
This is a girl that I like a lot, and I was excited for our date. I went and picked her up, we went to dinner, etc., all the usual stuff that y'all don't really care about.
But then we got to the doorstep.

Now, we were discussing in the car on the way back to her place how it doesn't matter how well you know the person, or how many dates you've been on, doorstep scenes are always awkward. It was a funny conversation, and it certainly broke the ice concerning the end of the date, because of course it's awkward, but now we'd both discussed it.
So I walked her up to door. We talked for a bit longer, and I gave her a big hug. Then, being the sly cat that I am, I moved in for the kill.
She turned her face to kiss me back, and . . . our noses collided.
Awesome.
Normally, of course, that wouldn't have been a big deal, but with the current nasal situation, it was. My eyes started to gush again, and she burst. Out. Laughing.
Awesome.

So that was blown. She invited me in for a Kleenex, and declined, gave her another hug, and walked out to my car.
I pulled myself in, and looked through the tears at my statue of Buddah on my dashboard.
He seemed to smile at me and say, "Ho buddy, you just BLEW IT!!!!!!"
"Believe me, little Buddah, I know . . . boy, do I know."

Comments (Page 1)
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on Apr 25, 2006

I know!  I use to wear glasses, still have a scar across the bridge of my nose where they became part of my nose one time!

Sorry for your missed kiss.  Great story tho!

on Apr 25, 2006

Nice story dude.  Don't worry, I won't let the parents get word of this.  Though it is pretty pathetic that something like a kiss promotes the need for secrecy. . .

on Apr 25, 2006
Though it is pretty pathetic that something like a kiss promotes the need for secrecy. . .


Meh, if they knew about it, they'd just be all "pressure"-ey. And I'm not in the mood.
on Apr 25, 2006
Oh, I am just recalling how they flipped out when I kissed a girl. . .
on Apr 25, 2006
Awww that sounds really sweet! I'm sure the girl was thinking exactly the same thing. I don't think you blew it, she won't be forgetting you in a hurry!

Hope the nose feels better soon
on Apr 25, 2006
I think that story is so cute, and since she went to accept the kiss, so it's not a total loss. It would have been a much worse situation had she punched you in the face and you started bleeding. That would be blowing it. This sounds like a minor set back, don't worry about it!
on Apr 25, 2006
Oh, I am just recalling how they flipped out when I kissed a girl. . .


Ah yes, Mom and Dad Jones . . . you've got to love them, despite their weirdness.

on Apr 25, 2006
Awww that sounds really sweet! I'm sure the girl was thinking exactly the same thing. I don't think you blew it, she won't be forgetting you in a hurry!Hope the nose feels better soon


Thanks. I don't think I've blown it, but it sure felt like it at the time, and Buddah sure seemed to think so . . .
Besides. She can't forget me. We work together and her dad's my boss. So I'm in like flint.

on Apr 25, 2006
Amanda:

I think that story is so cute, and since she went to accept the kiss, so it's not a total loss. It would have been a much worse situation had she punched you in the face and you started bleeding. That would be blowing it. This sounds like a minor set back, don't worry about it!


yes, I think I'm safe, but I can honestly say that another punch in the face would've made for another funny story . . . you're right though - at least she didn't turn away and I didn't get the cheek. There's nothing worse than the feeling of impotence you have when you screw up a kiss like that.
on Apr 25, 2006
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

No wait.


HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah the nose bump! Ain't it sexy?

She sounds fun...take her out again....
on Apr 25, 2006
She sounds fun...take her out again....


Believe me, I intend to . . .
on Apr 25, 2006

She sounds fun...take her out again....


Believe me, I intend to . . .

After your nose heals!

on Apr 25, 2006
After your nose heals!


for sure. I don't want a repeat . . .
on Apr 25, 2006
Heehee!! Good story there Chonino, and I'm sure you'll both laugh at this first (missed) kiss episod very soon
on Apr 25, 2006


What a great story. You couldn't invent a better scene. Brilliant.

So I'm in like flint


I'm not trying to be picky, but the saying is actually 'In like Flynn' and refers to Errol Flynn the actor and his prowess with the ladies. You can call me persnickety, if you like.
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