Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
Published on October 16, 2008 By SanChonino In Poetry

This originally started out as a pantoum, but I took some rather hefty liberties with the form. (But hey, I kept the basic rhyme scheme while trying some diversification with the lines.) At any rate, it's nothing special, but I thought it would be worth posting. But then, I've been wrong before.

Anyway. If you read, let me know what you think.

Continental Drift

Now you pull away from me,
hesitant and cold; are you
shaken by something you see,
the things I've said, or what I do?

Hesitant and cold, are you
willing to ignore me here?
The things I've said or what I do
create this chill, foster this fear.

Now as you ignore me here,
is there nothing I can say
to make this chill and fostered fear
depart? No. You're miles away.

Is there nothing I can say
amidst these shaking things you see
to stop you? No. You're miles away.
You still drift away from me.


Comments
on Oct 16, 2008

Continents only move a handful of millimeters a year.

 

Anyway, I think it's a good piece.   Me lo gusta.

~Zoo

on Jan 26, 2009

hey this is pretty good....makes me want to try again.

Meta
Views
» 137
Comments
» 2
Category
Sponsored Links