Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
or; my100th article
Published on February 16, 2007 By SanChonino In Personal Relationships
For my 100th article, I wanted to share something that I wrote the other day. I have been hesitant to share it, because I didn't want to be accused of plagarism by my teacher if she were to find it on the 'net. But, I figured I'm gonna post it with this disclaimer:

MESSAGE FOR PROF. REAGAN: If you find this online, be well assured that this was written by me, Braeden Jones, in February of 2007. If it appears on any other site than JoeUser and the Stardock family of websites, it's been plagarized. But not by me, from me. So don't worry, dammit.

And now, my 100th article ... hope you like it.

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It was a cold January day as I pulled the seat up next to my grandfather's ghost.
“Been awhile since we've talked, son,” was all he said to me as we looked out over the gully.
“Glad you found the new house okay, Gramps,” I replied. “I was a little worried now that we've moved that it'd be a bit more difficult for you to find me.”
“Nah, I'm usually around. You just don't pay enough attention,” came the terse answer. “How can your daddy afford this thing anyway? It's a lot bigger than the old one. Tall ceilings.” He got up and began to pace around the great room, where we sat overlooking the ravine in the backyard. “Is this entertainment center cherry wood?”
I smiled. “Yeah, it is. Pretty nice looking, huh? And I guess you hadn't heard, Gramps, Dad's the president of the bank now.”
I looked over at the translucent figure of my grandfather. It had been fourteen years since he'd passed away, almost to the day. We had a tradition of sitting down on or near his deathday every year, catching up. He'd usually ask questions about the family, how Nana was doing, what was new in my life, the works. I'd ask him questions, usually about what life was like when he was my age back in the forties, what it was like to be a paratrooper in World War II, what his professional life was like.
This year was no different.
His eyes looked distant as he thought about my father's promotion. He finally found his way back into the armchair that had served as his seat for these talks since our first chat, the morning of the day he died. He'd passed away about three that forgotten winter morning, and as I was in the front room later that day all those years ago, he appeared to me and we talked. I thought that was his last goodbye, my last chance to talk with him, my best friend in the world, but yet he came back every year without fail.
Finally he answered, “Well, I guess he's living the American Dream, isn't he?”
I was surprised by this answer. I had never thought of it that way. Is my father living the American Dream? Is that why he has the big house, the motorhome, the tall ceilings, the guitar collection that makes me salivate? I thought to myself.
After a few more moments of pensive silence, I spoke up. “I suppose that he is ... I guess.”
My grandfather looked at me, that wry, lopsided smile on his face. “Oh come on, Braeden. You know that he is. Look at this thing! How tall are these ceilings, anyway? Sixteen, seventeen feet?”
“Sixteen in this room, twenty-one in the high point in the kitchen.”
His eyes widened. “Wow, twenty-one foot ceilings. Hell's bells and an extra value meal, that's a house. That's the American Dream.”
Confused, I followed the ethereal form of my grandfather as he began to walk through the opening into the kitchen, marveling at the height, running his transparent hands along the fine granite countertops, struggling down onto his hands and knees to stroke the smooth travertine of the marble floor tiles.
All around me I saw the splendid baubles of conspicuous consumption. Everything in the new house seemed too big, too nice, too elegant for my down-home tastes. I turned to Gramps and asked him, “What do you mean, this is the American Dream? I don't hope to have travertine marble floors some day ... is that somehow un-American?”
“Naw, son, it's not the marble. Damn fine marble, though, I won't lie there ... how much did this house cost your folks anyway?”
I reddened. “I'm really not supposed to talk to anyone about the price tag, Gramps. They didn't even want me to know how much it cost.”
“Oh come on, you can tell a dead old man, Braeden,” he laughed.
I told him a number, and his eyes widened like dinner plates. “I shoulda been the president of something, I guess,” was all he said.
“But what is the American Dream, then, Gramps? Didn't you live it? I mean, you had your own house in your own name, totally debt free. You owned a car, a boat, a motorhome. You and Nana were happy.”
He looked at me, obviously lost in thought. “Well, I suppose I did live the American dream, didn't I? We had some fun times on that boat.”
I grinned. The memories of the “fun times on that boat”, drifting along the waters of Bear Lake, sitting in the bow with Gramps, our rods out into the water, he and I talking (much like in that moment in the kitchen) resonating through the valleys of my consciousness.
Returning to the moment, I posed another question. “So then, Gramps, define this esoteric concept of 'American Dream' for me. Does it mean increasing what you've got? Does it mean doing better than those who came before?”
“Esoteric? Sometimes I think you forget that your Gramps was a soldier and a meat delivery man, not a university fella like yourself. That's a word I just don't know, son. But no, the American dream is not just doing better than the last generation. That's a part of it, sure. Look at your Grandma and Grandpa Jones – he was a poor carpenter, I was a poor delivery man, and look at where your parents are. Eight hundred thousand dollars of house, with twenty-one foot ceilings. I suspect that someday, your brother Peter will have a house like this, if not bigger, seeing as how he's a doctor and all,” he replied.
I hesitated. “What about me, then? I'm not going to make as much as Dad does, and certainly nowhere near as much as Pete. I'm just going to be a university professor, in Spanish, no less.”
He smiled his grandfatherly smile once again, and said, “Oh, come now, you'll be making plenty. You'll have lots of funny letters following your name, after all.”
“Yeah, but it's foreign language. Foreign language professors are the worst paid of all – trust me, I've asked around.”
“Hold on, now just hold on,” he contested. “I said that doing better than the last generation was only part of it. The biggest, and the most important part of the American Dream, the part that everyone can have, is simply being content. It's finding that serenity, that peace that when you sit down at night, and the world calms, that you're content with yourself and your life.”
All I could answer was an unintelligible grunt.
He continued, “That's the tricky part of the American Dream. Anyone can have it, but nobody seems to get it.”
I looked up at him, slack jawed. “That's it, Gramps? It's finding contentment? That's ... anti-climatic.”
“Yet at the same time, it's ... very climatic. And funny. We try, and try, and try, we run around like chickens with their heads cut off, and for what? What does it say in the Bible? A 'mess of pottage', or something like that? When all we should do, is be content. That's the American Dream – available to everyone, but gained by few.”
I furrowed my brow in thought. “That's kinda ... Buddhist sounding, Gramps.”
He grinned, toothy, and said, “Well, the Buddha's a good guy to hang around with. We play darts on the weekends. Guess he's rubbing off on me. Plus, he's got great aim.”
“Right, man. I believe that.”
We eased back into the front room, and he sat back into the sofa, putting his big hands behind his head, lounging back. “You should, son. The afterlife is like a dream; I sit around with some of the greatest minds this world has ever seen. Think about it – your meat delivery-truck driving grandfather, sitting down with Buddha, Abraham Lincoln, and Gandhi to play a round of five-card stud. It's like a dream all day; hell, this life is a dream.”
I laughed. “That reminds me – I was going to tell you about this paper I wrote the other day ...”

Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Feb 16, 2007
Very good piece of writing. I really enjoyed it.
on Feb 16, 2007
I really enjoyed it.


I'm glad you did; it was very cathartic to write it. The stupid assignment was to "define the American Dream". Ugh. I hate boring expository essays like that. And last time in class, we had to bring our rough drafts and do "peer conferencing". Gag. Everyone's was exactly what I feared - "The American Dream is this because I want to be a doctor." Bo-ring. I had to approach mine differently or I was going to a-splode.
on Feb 16, 2007
Wow, SC. That was fantastic. I'm a little (no, A LOT) green with envy! If you don't get an A then that means they have their heads ALL THE WAY up their asses.

(and I understand about having talks with ghost on anniversaries too. Beleive me, I do)
on Feb 16, 2007
Wow, SC. That was fantastic.


Thanks. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. It was funny; we were sitting there in class doing the pointless "peer conferencing" thing, and the ditzy girl who read my paper said, "I want to know if it's true. Do you have conversations with dead people?

I smiled my most coy smile. "Of course I can't tell you that . . ."
on Feb 16, 2007
' "The biggest, and the most important part of the American Dream, the part that everyone can have, is simply being content. It's finding that serenity, that peace that when you sit down at night, and the world calms, that you're content with yourself and your life.” '

This is SO PROFOUND Braeden! I absolutely agree with it!



I have to tell you how beautiful this is! The best I've seen you written, I hope you do get an A!


on Feb 16, 2007
This is one of my favorites from you Chino. Great job.

The whole time I was reading I kept waiting for your grandpa to pass on some great here after knowledge....I mean, the questions I'd have!

I could actually see this conversation taking place when I went to visit my grandma in the nursing home. She was blunt like that. But we didn't ever discuss the American Dream.

Who knew?

Great job.
on Feb 16, 2007
The best I've seen you written,


Thank you. I'm glad you found a nugget of wisdom from this odd thing.

This is one of my favorites from you Chino. Great job.


After reading your wonderful stuff, this means a lot. Thank you.
on Feb 16, 2007
Lovely piece of writing. Well done.
on Feb 16, 2007
I really enjoyed this SC. Hope your professor does too!
on Feb 16, 2007
natural, soothing and elegant - I loved the "Buddha's a good guy...Plus, he's got great aim." We are the target. Zing.
on Feb 16, 2007
I loved the "Buddha's a good guy...Plus, he's got great aim."


I was surprised by that line, too . . . not what I expected.

Glad you liked it too, Meg!
on Feb 16, 2007
It was funny; we were sitting there in class doing the pointless "peer conferencing" thing, and the ditzy girl who read my paper said, "I want to know if it's true. Do you have conversations with dead people?


Dude! Here's some advice and trust me on this one! Ask her out! Those ditzy girls can be a whole lotta fun, ya know...   
on Feb 16, 2007
What? No pics?

good stuff S.C. .....I think you deserve another A+   


It's good to see you write.....I was begining to think you were starting to resort to drawing only lately.


on Feb 16, 2007
It's good to see you write.....I was begining to think you were starting to resort to drawing only lately.


I wish I was the one drawing all those. I find them absolutely hillarious. Toothpaste for dinner is one of the funniest websites in the world.

Thanks for the comment. I'm glad you liked it.
on Feb 16, 2007
Ask her out!


I think I will . . . she's only sorta ditzy, but she's pretty cool.
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