Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
or; the masks we wear
Published on August 24, 2006 By SanChonino In Work
Yesterday was a long day at work. (Now, I know that lots of you work a lot harder than me, and I'm not asking for sympathy, it's just part of the story.) I really didn't want to be there, other than the fact that I really needed the cash. As I sat in my teller booth in the unfamiliar branch (I was working for another teller who was sick in the main branch) I floundered. I'm usually an upbeat person, but I was just feeling grouchy.

Now, that's not very conducive to the world of banking.

I sat, looking at the tacky phrases and pictures stuck to the side of the sick girl's computer screen, and mostly just wanted to rip the thing out of the back of the computer, chuck it across the entire lobby, and walk out.

That's just about the time that the customer walked up to my window.

So what did I do? I put on my best smile, greeted them with a “Well hi, how are you doing this wonderful morning?” and waited for their reply. The old man was surly, but I kept my game face on, and proceeded to help him with his transaction, smiling and joking with him the whole time, eventually garnering a smile from the crotchety senior citizen.

He walked away, and my smile melted away. I was in grouchy-ville again. Simple as that – no-one could tell, but I hid my true feelings wonderfully.

That got me to thinking – how often do we walk through our days, or worse, our entire lives, with an artificial smile in place? How often do we cover our true selves and let the mask shine forth in false cheeriness?

Like I said, usually I'm quite cheerful, and thankfully, I'm feeling fine and dandy today, and when I go into work, the smile won't be artificial today. But how could anyone ever tell the difference?

Fun times with a fake smile.

Comments (Page 2)
2 Pages1 2 
on Aug 26, 2006
BTW .. those smiles on post #15 are all fake. Damn, it IS easy to fool people.

<---- That one is real.
on Aug 27, 2006
Some mornings, every single patient I see gets an artificial smile.

BTW, the title of your article got the song stuck in my head now. That song freaking rules.
on Aug 27, 2006
Well, I never heard the song "Artificial Smile", but I have another contribution, this one for you John Prine fans out there (and if anyone can send me the chord progression for the geetar on this one, I'd me very grateful):

When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad
Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won
And it was twelve o'clock before I realized
That I was havin' .. no fun

Chorus:
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun

Last time I checked my bankroll,
It was gettin' thin
Sometimes it seems like the bottom
Is the only place I've been
I chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen

Repeat chorus:

Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls
Tryin' to get away
From all the ears inside my walls
I dreamed the police heard
Everything I thought... what then?
Well I went to court
And the judge's name was hoffman

Ah but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun
on Aug 27, 2006
BTW, the title of your article got the song stuck in my head now. That song freaking rules.


I know, everytime I read this thread I think of that song. Freaking wonderful. You should hear it, Gid. Not your bluegrassy type though . . . some seriously lovely metal.

BTW .. those smiles on post #15 are all fake. Damn, it IS easy to fool people.


Love it, UDigIt.
on Aug 27, 2006
I know, everytime I read this thread I think of that song. Freaking wonderful. You should hear it, Gid. Not your bluegrassy type though . . . some seriously lovely metal.


I listen to EVERYTHING, San Chonino. My motto is "from Mozart to Metallica". It's just that I SING folk music best.
on Aug 27, 2006
Hi my friend
Shake my hand
Tell your lie
With your artificial smile
Don’t be mad
I just want to help you
To say these words out loud

I don’t like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I’m so happy when they f you

Strike a blow
For my fall
Crush me down
And just say these words out loud

I don’t like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I’m so happy when they f you

And this is what we do
And this is who we are
Why don’t you want to stop
You always see my life up against your life

I don’t like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I’m so happy when they f you
Tell me your lie!!!
on Aug 27, 2006
I’m so happy when they f you


That's a line that I love, but I was glad for. They could've used the actual word, but they strategically placed the word "f" in place of that famous "french" word. Great stuff.
on Aug 27, 2006
I guffawed when I opened the liner notes to read what that line was. f. Who knew it was a complete word.

However, it actually opens the song up for more than one interpretation. There are a few words that begin with f that could potentially fit in there.
on Aug 27, 2006
Yeah i tend to wear a mask around people i dont know, but around people who are close i know it's useless so i just complain until someone gets the idea and buys me some chocolate to cheer me up, hehe!
on Aug 27, 2006
There are a few words that begin with f that could potentially fit in there.


I laughed as well. I couldn't believe that's what they'd actually put in the song . . . but as you said, so inventive. Such possibilities.

so i just complain until someone gets the idea and buys me some chocolate to cheer me up,


Sounds like a plan, sis . . .
on Aug 30, 2006
I find this funny! Sorry Brenden, but it is!


I find it quite hilarious, and it functions as a good trigger that I'm getting a little overboard. I naturally smile and laugh at just about everything, so if I'm actually angry or upset, it either means I need to fix something, or I've just gotten too wrapped up in my wall, forgetting that it's supposed to be separate from me as well as everyone else. Get too close to that wall and all you end up with is a broken nose and bloodshot eyes.
on Aug 30, 2006

Wow I am so late to this...typical...I'm always a little behind

One of my favourite things to do is smile at people who look really misterable.  It is funny to see how they react it.  Some people look like they want to kill you and others can't help but smile back.  It is nice to smile, and be nice.  I am glad you are feeling better babes!

on Aug 31, 2006
One of my favourite things to do is smile at people who look really misterable. It is funny to see how they react it. Some people look like they want to kill you and others can't help but smile back.


I love to do that. But sometimes, I've seen it backfire on people rather handily. I know a fellow that's not the most attractive person on the planet, and really doesn't do much to change that - he looks like what some of my acquaintances like to call a "Chester Molester". When he gives you a nice, big smile, you just kind of (out of necessity) get creeped out by the whole thing . . . ugh. Chester can't seem to win.   
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