Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
or; can't work with these nails painted!
Published on July 26, 2006 By SanChonino In Work
As I mentioned in my last article, last Friday I had the opportunity to be a clown in a parade. I went for the “punk rock” clown look – consequently, my little sister had painted my fingernails black.

When I returned home, I was unable to find nail polish remover, so I decided to wear the polish to work the next day as a joke.

Now, here's the deal – at my job, I'm respected, I'm trusted, and I'm responsible. I know my stuff – I know a lot about flowers, trees, and shrubs, I'm able to help people put together pleasing designs for their yards, I'm very skilled at driving the tractors and getting the people's trucks filled well with their mulches, etc.

On any given day, I'm treated with respect. Customers come in, ask me questions, I answer their questions, we're all happy. I give them a hand, and they're peachy keen. But last Saturday, with the nail polish on my fingers, things were . . . different.

It all started about nine in the morning. They'd called back a scoop of gravel on the radio, and I headed back there to fill the truck up as they pulled around. I walked up to the open window of the vehicle, and the look on the driver's face was one of . . . revulsion. I asked them to pull to a certain spot so I could fill them up, and the older gentleman driving the truck said, “Are you sure you can do this, young'un?”

I turned around, flabbergasted. This was the first time that I'd ever been questioned in my abilities in driving my tractor. I'm the best there is – nobody questions me and my beautiful tractors. (They've all been named, but that's a story for another day.) I brushed it off, saying, “Of course, sir! No problems,” not realizing the reason behind it. I scooped him and went about my business.

About fifteen minutes later, I approached an older lady in the flowering shrubs section and asked, “Hello, m'am. May I help you out with anything?” I crossed my arms across my chest, and again I got the look of revulsion. She said, “That's okay, I'm fine.” I walked away. Thirty seconds later, another coworker, Jack, went over and asked the lady if she needed help. For the next fifteen minutes, he was answering questions for her and helping her get a whole cartful of shrubbery.

Finally, I started to think something was wrong. I ran into the bathroom, to see if there was something wrong with my face. Looking at myself in the mirror, it occurred to me – the nails. I hadn't given them a second thought the entire hour I'd been at work. Suddenly I realized what had caused that look of revulsion and the reticence to have my help – they thought I was a punk kid.

I decided to take advantage of this opportunity and turn it into a social experiment. I started to take notice of the way I was treated by all of the customers coming through the store.

Throughout the entire day, I was treated the exact same way by almost every customer who I attempted to help. There was the occasional exception – in particular, I helped a woman and her children design her entire front bed, and some of the people who I scooped mulch for were appreciative without complaint . . . but more often than not, people didn't want to talk to me. They AVOIDED me.

One person in particular, a man in his seventies (whose truck I had filled with soil three or four times) would not let me fill his vehicle with soil. He refused, said that he would wait until someone “more qualified” (his words) were available to fill his truck. This was a person who had loved the way I had taken care of him many times before, and now he would not allow me to help him. Ugh.

What a telling experiment. I've now realized that we are all too quick to judge. I've never had problems like this before, and now here I was, being ostracized simply because I had black nails. Other than that, I looked the same way I always look – green J & L shirt, Levi jeans, and work boots. But the simple fact that I had black painted fingernails changed me from accepted and respected to shunned and untrusted. Huh.

Moral of the experiment: Maybe we should all be a little less quick to judge . . . because sometimes it's just a veneer, hiding the real person behind.

Comments (Page 2)
2 Pages1 2 
on Jul 27, 2006
I judge people on how they look everyday.

I make split second decisions based on that judgment too.

If I am wrong, my loss...but if I am right, my gain.

For example, if I am walking alone down the street at night after a movie.....and I see a man in a suit on the opposite side of the street...and a man in dirty unkempt clothes on my side of the street, I will likely cross the street and pass the guy in the suit.

Why?

Because I figure what are the odds I have something he wants? That's just how my mind works.

Sure its a gamble and the guy in the suit could be Ted Bundy....but it still happens, I still do it.

And everyone knows this, everyone. We can say "Don't judge a book by its cover" but we all do it.

When a teen wants to make an impression on the world what is one of the things they change? Their outward appearance...and they learn fast how it makes other people react.

Good article.
on Jul 27, 2006
We can say "Don't judge a book by its cover" but we all do it.


By 'We', I assume you're talking about you and your associates. Not everyone is as you have said. I go out of my way not to judge people by their clothes, looks or age. The way I see it, every opportunity to meet someone new is an opportunity to perhaps learn something new too. If I sound niave saying this, so be it...
on Jul 28, 2006
By 'We', I assume you're talking about you and your associates.


No I mean HUMANS....you go out of your way NOT to do it....which means if you didn't make a conscious effort NOT to do it...you'd be doing it right?

Most of it is at an unconscious level, and often involves a survival instinct.

I hate to think you'd walk children through a group of gang bangers hoping to "learn something new."
on Jul 28, 2006
Most of it is at an unconscious level, and often involves a survival instinct.


As much as I hate to admit it, I think I agree with Tonya. Whether or not we do it ourselves, we do have to make a conscious effort to avoid it if we don't want to do it. That's the pernicious part about the whole thing. Either we roll with our judgements, which may, as she pointed out, be incorrect, or we try our hardest to avoid making judgements at all, and that can cause just as many problems.

Ah, interesting human foibles. What fun.
on Jul 28, 2006
Interesting article.

I hope everything is back to normal for you back at the nursery. Or is the 70 year old man still waiting for his soil?

Can you imagine what might of happened if Lloyd had black fingernails when he had "Clash of the Titans" on the tractor?
on Jul 29, 2006
Interesting experiment. Sad isn't it? Despite the fact that may have cost the company customers, money, whatever, it's still sad. Nice article!
on Jul 31, 2006
Tova,

Actually, what I was implying is the broad generalisation you made is incorrect. I don't know you, so how can you know what I might or might not do in a given situation? I just object to the use of the word 'we' as I am the only person who speaks for me. I'm just being pedantic, is all.

I hate to think you'd walk children through a group of gang bangers hoping to "learn something new."


Of course not... I said I might be considered niave because of my opinion, but not foolish. I still maintain being as non-judgemental as possible has worked in my favour far more times than it hasn't.

San Chonino,

we do have to make a conscious effort to avoid it if we don't want to do it.


Of course we do. Are we intelligent, thinking beings or animals slave to instincts? Again, if this sounds niave, well maybe it is. But I would rather be niave and grow than rely on instincts to direct my life.
on Aug 01, 2006
Maso:

But I would rather be niave and grow than rely on instincts to direct my life.


I agree. It doesn't come natural, but I sure try to do it, too.

UDigIt:

Can you imagine what might of happened if Lloyd had black fingernails when he had "Clash of the Titans" on the tractor?


Yes, I can. My peals of laughter would have undoubtably dropped me to the ground, unable to move for days . . . probably a good idea that didn't happen.
on Aug 02, 2006
Where are you?  I miss you
on Aug 02, 2006
Where are you? I miss you


Been super busy with the new job, love. Sorry. As soon as I'm done being trained, I should be around a whole lot more. Don't worry; I'm always watching from the shadows, my dear . . .
on Aug 02, 2006
It's the basic tribal instinct in all of us. Some may make an effort to over come it while others don't, but we all have it whether we like it or not.
on Aug 03, 2006
Heh funny story, man I've been missing those. How've you been babe? You got a new job?
on Aug 03, 2006
Heh funny story, man I've been missing those. How've you been babe? You got a new job?


Honey! You're back! I've been missing you something bad, babe. Yeah, I'm a bank teller as of this last Monday. I finally get my own drawer tomorrow. Yee haw!
2 Pages1 2