Self-deprecation is worth its weight in smoldering phoenix-ashes and baby unicorn tears.
or; the failed dance party attempt
Published on August 21, 2006 By SanChonino In Dating
So . . . I know I do a lot of bandstanding about how great it is to be single, but it's starting to catch up to me. Maybe I'm not as bad about it here, but in the real world, I'm always extolling the advantages to being single. (Mostly because I can't seem to keep a stable relationship . . .)

This weekend, I was invited by a couple of friends of mine (the sensational Quilter twins) to a dance party they were having at their house. I promised I'd go . . . mostly under duress. There was going to be someone there that they really wanted me to meet. (I'd really like to be dating either one of them, because I'm pretty much floored by both, just for different reasons, but they're both currently taken. Dammit!) I'm all about meeting new people, so I decided that I'd put in my effort, and maybe something good would come of it.

So I set about the gathering of a cadre of friends to go with me. I didn't want to go by myself. Then I realized that I don't really have a cadre of friends to gather about. Ever since returning home from my mission, I've found it increasingly difficult to find a group of people to blend in with. I'm not the best in groups; I get disaffected by the whole situation. Consequently, I have a lot of friends, but I never really do anything with big groups of people, mostly just one-on-one or in groups of three or four. That's just how I've always preferred things.

So what friends I was able to get in contact with were all out of town for the weekend. (Curse my impulsive friend base . . . they were all out of town whilst I had to work!) It seemed I was destined (read: cursed) to attend the dance party alone.

I drove up there, fashionably late (the twins had told me that April, the girl they wanted me to meet, would be arriving tardy) full of fear and trepidation. Finally, I wrenched myself from the quiet solitude of my car and walked up the stairs to the party.

It was as I expected. The Quilter twins are really young – 19 – and so most of the people they invited were 17-19. I was the grandpa of the party. And it was an acute feeling. I futilely searched for my twins, finally finding them out in the mass of dancing bodies. I said, “Well, here I am. I promised I'd make an appearance, and I'm appearing.”

Ashlee told me that April wouldn't be able to come, that she was sick. I was crestfallen. I decided, then and there . . . to hell with this, I'm going to find me someone and dance, dammit!

And I failed. Miserably.

Everyone was there with their groups of friends. I was the odd man out; without a gaggle of groupies, I was the odd duck.

So I danced with each of the twins, chatting with them, wishing either was single and that I could have a chance with them, and promptly disappeared to the quiet, lonely solitude of my trusty Hyundai.

I drove home, my loneliness feeling the most acute it has in ages. I was longing for someone to be there with me, someone to talk to, to hold, and there was no one.

Arrgh. Welcome to the life of San Chonino. The saint of women's underwear and I can't even get a girl to dance with me!

Comments (Page 2)
2 Pages1 2 
on Sep 02, 2006
snog


I had to check dictionary.com for that one. I'd never heard it before. I thought you were giving us some original San Chonino slang.

But ahh yes kisses and cuddles. The sweet, delicious innocence.
on Sep 02, 2006
I thought you were giving us some original San Chonino slang.


One of these days I'll write "The Original San Chonino Dictionary". All of my famous phrases and words, put together into one great whole . . . that would be fun.

The sweet, delicious innocence.


That is a great way to describe it!
on Sep 02, 2006
snog


That's Austrailian slang, isn't it?

~Zoo
on Sep 02, 2006
That's Austrailian slang, isn't it?


British for sure, but I think they might use it in Australia, too.
on Sep 03, 2006
British for sure, but I think they might use it in Australia, too.


Ah...right then...learned something new.

~Zoo
on Sep 03, 2006
Reminds me of a bar in Longview, TX a couple of years back. I was laid over due to a truck breakdown and de3cided to check out the night life. The cab dropped me what he promised was the 'happening" place in town.

It was all college aged kids, but I really didn't mind. They may not always be much for intelligent conversation but they are nice to look at. I spent some time talking with a rather attractive little 20-something and actually thought I was making some progress with her.

That was until at some point in the conversation she called me..."sir". That really took the wind outta my sails. I said something like "Nice chatting with ya kid", and moved back to the bar to enjoy a few more brews.

After that I still enjoyed a few dances but all my illusionary enthusiasm had evaporated.

Don't sweat it, there's a lot to be said for being free.
on Sep 04, 2006
---The Quilter twins are really young – 19 – and so most of the people they invited were 17-19. I was the grandpa of the party.---

You're only as old as the woman you're dating.

My advice to you is when you're feeling lonely take things into your own hands.

Wait a minute that doesn't sound right. What I'm trying to say is find a party with single people your own age. Yeah, that's what I meant.
on Sep 04, 2006
My advice to you is when you're feeling lonely take things into your own hands.


JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!   *Slowly tries to pull his wriggling, convulsing body out of the wiggles and back to the world of the normal*

Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what you meant. Sicko.   
on Sep 07, 2006
My advice to you is when you're feeling lonely take things into your own hands.


Bwhahahahahaha!   

~Zoo
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